Survivor, Thriver, Librarian

PERSONALLY: I’m a survivor and thriver after long-term domestic abuse.

Once upon a time I was in a relationship for a ridiculously too long time, and my half of life was stuck and not moving forward. Know why? Because I was in a bad (coughabusivecough) relationship and (thanks to complicated childhood experiences!) I was not equipped with any sort of tool kit to identify or deal with the situation I was in (spoiler: narcissistic abuse).

My private life was a dumpster fire: while his life grew to look like we had it all, life behind closed doors was a chaotic clusterf*ck train-wreck smorgasbord of abuse. The emotional abuse left me feeling not only partly responsible for the mess our relationship was, but trapped.

We tried couples counseling. Five different times.

As obviously bad as my situation was, “Just leave” is not the snap-your-fingers solution outsiders think it is. I had nothing to call my own beyond a cat, a car, a basic job I couldn’t support myself alone with, and a lot of baggage from years of emotional abuse and threats.

My saving grace? (Besides LOADS of therapy, personal work, and my weird sense of humor?) Working in a library. I had access to resources and a safe-space to read and research to better understand my situation and discover strategies for coping. It also helped that (most of) my professional life was the total opposite of life at home: supportive and empowering.

October 2021 marked my 5-year milestone of getting out. And life has been unbelievably amazing since then.

PROFESSIONALLY: I’m an MLIS-weilding Certified Professional Librarian with a career spanning 15+ years from shelver all the way up to running a library as a Director. My Bachelors is in Education (teaching). Along the way I’ve also built (or helped to run) several businesses, so I’ve worn a lot of professional hats.